[It was alright to not know what you wanted, in Kavinsky's opinion. He didn't know what he wanted besides drugs and sex and cars. He knew parties couldn't last his entire life, but he didn't know what he wanted if there was ever a time without them. Maybe he'd figure it out eventually. Maybe Ronan would figure out what he wanted, first. Maybe he wouldn't. But the things he mentioned were a start. It was better to have some idea than no idea.
He brushed his thumb across the back of Ronan's hand, slow and gentle. 'Gentle' and 'Kavinsky' didn't usually go together in the same sentence, but there was no one else to see them; they had the most privacy they were ever going to get.]
I could give you most of those things. I don't know about making the world not suck, but we could carve out a corner for ourselves, do whatever the fuck we want.
[He'd never been desperate for someone to want him, before. He'd always been content with people liking him if they did, and saying fuck you if they didn't. This was different. He knew he'd fucked up before, and who knew, he might fuck up again, but he had a chance here.
He took a breath, scrubbed his free hand through his hair.]
I've always been alone. All those parties and shit? They don't fill the void, but they're as close as I can get.
[And then he'd found out Ronan was like him, and his world had teetered. He'd thought he was the only one, but he wasn't and it was mindblowing, and- He wanted to press his face into Ronan's hair, but he didn't move.]
no subject
He brushed his thumb across the back of Ronan's hand, slow and gentle. 'Gentle' and 'Kavinsky' didn't usually go together in the same sentence, but there was no one else to see them; they had the most privacy they were ever going to get.]
I could give you most of those things. I don't know about making the world not suck, but we could carve out a corner for ourselves, do whatever the fuck we want.
[He'd never been desperate for someone to want him, before. He'd always been content with people liking him if they did, and saying fuck you if they didn't. This was different. He knew he'd fucked up before, and who knew, he might fuck up again, but he had a chance here.
He took a breath, scrubbed his free hand through his hair.]
I've always been alone. All those parties and shit? They don't fill the void, but they're as close as I can get.
[And then he'd found out Ronan was like him, and his world had teetered. He'd thought he was the only one, but he wasn't and it was mindblowing, and- He wanted to press his face into Ronan's hair, but he didn't move.]