[At the question Ronan hesitates. He doesn't pull away, he doesn't let go of Kavinsky, but there's discomfort there. Kavinsky's asking him for an answer, for something clear, something where he owns the things he's been saying. It's a tension probably not too unfamiliar from the Ronan of car races and bad impulse control, but he doesn't flinch from it. The discomfort might be the same, but he doesn't pull away from the suggestion of vulnerability, even if his knee-jerk impulse is to try and downplay it.
Kavinsky has given him vulnerability. They're standing in a dream, holding hands with intention, Ronan's hand pressed against his chest, the other boy's fingers covering his own. He sort of wanted to press those long fingers to his lips, to see if he could taste the ashes. Intimacy wasn't something he could avoid, or even something he wanted to, if he was honest. But it's still difficult, not something he knows how to give easily.
So it takes him a few moments- heartbeats longer than it should, he knows- but he eases, smiles like an apology for the hesitation. The way that the other boy tries not to smile but can't quite manage it tugs at his heart in ways he couldn't quite explain and isn't quite sure that he wants to try. Answering that question is hard enough for the moment.]
Yeah. I want you to stay here with me.
[He shivered, tried not to let on that it meant as much as it did. But if it didn't mean anything the answer would have been easy, and it isn't. His heart feels rabbit-fast, like the other boy should be able to feel it with how close they're standing. He's not the sort of boy to make it conditional, to phrase it around things like if you want to. It's just want, and there's more he wants, but he's still working on figuring out the shape of it.
This is all new territory, but Ronan is at least capable of trying, of saying it. He wants to, even if he knows neither of them are easy. There's no way the two of them together will be easy. But Ronan's never been attracted to the easy things. And the way he feels- alive, on fire- new as this is, it still feels worth it.]
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Kavinsky has given him vulnerability. They're standing in a dream, holding hands with intention, Ronan's hand pressed against his chest, the other boy's fingers covering his own. He sort of wanted to press those long fingers to his lips, to see if he could taste the ashes. Intimacy wasn't something he could avoid, or even something he wanted to, if he was honest. But it's still difficult, not something he knows how to give easily.
So it takes him a few moments- heartbeats longer than it should, he knows- but he eases, smiles like an apology for the hesitation. The way that the other boy tries not to smile but can't quite manage it tugs at his heart in ways he couldn't quite explain and isn't quite sure that he wants to try. Answering that question is hard enough for the moment.]
Yeah. I want you to stay here with me.
[He shivered, tried not to let on that it meant as much as it did. But if it didn't mean anything the answer would have been easy, and it isn't. His heart feels rabbit-fast, like the other boy should be able to feel it with how close they're standing. He's not the sort of boy to make it conditional, to phrase it around things like if you want to. It's just want, and there's more he wants, but he's still working on figuring out the shape of it.
This is all new territory, but Ronan is at least capable of trying, of saying it. He wants to, even if he knows neither of them are easy. There's no way the two of them together will be easy. But Ronan's never been attracted to the easy things. And the way he feels- alive, on fire- new as this is, it still feels worth it.]
Two kings, right?