revivalprojectooc | FALL TEST DRIVE MEME

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FALL TEST DRIVE MEME

FALL TEST DRIVE MEME
Application FAQ | Taken Characters | Reserves | Application

Welcome to the Current Test Drive for The Revival Project!

This game is a spin-off from the closed The Drift Fleet game. For more information about the game, including more details on the setting, please check out the FAQ here or the premise here.

A thread on the TDM will be required for all applications. Please view the FAQ for information about how this works. Any questions about the game please direct to the comment section of the FAQ as well.

If you are a Drift Fleet alumni bringing your character from the game, please label your character as 'DFAU' on your top level. Also, keep in mind you have complete flexibility on how your character comes here. They could be taken before endgame, after endgame, two years after, one year before, etc. It's up to you! If you want to completely restart your character, they're not considered DFAU anymore and won't need the label.

So go! Explore Agra 10! And, as always, HAVE FUN!

Thread ideas:

Fall in Temba and Sh'Ka

Fall is a season that, in temperate climates like that of Temba and Sh'Ka leads to great changes in the land. Of course in both cities that change is often peeking out amid the occasional dustings or drifts of volcanic ash, but with each of the light fall rains, it's almost as if the memories of the eruption that ended the summer are being washed away. Each city, though, has its own new challenges to face.

Temba seems almost peaceful, breathing out a sigh of relief after its near destruction. Just southeast of the city one finds signs of the damage in greater evidence. The recent lava flows have taken out large stretches of vegetation, replacing them with fresh volcanic rock left bare at the surface. In some places there's even residual heat given off, especially closer to the volcano that now rests as an unending reminder of what was nearly lost. Meanwhile in the city itself the plants that would normally provide a natural abundance outside of the domain of the greenhouse seem to offer scant pickings, perhaps a result of the intense heat of the summer.

Meanwhile in Sh'Ka fall proves to be a threat, though in a new way this year than in any before. The danger derives from the Blood Vines near the train station. Apparently ash-rich soil only feeds the vampiric plant, and its spines are larger than ever as its vines lie hidden under the mounds of ash, ready for any unsuspecting prey.

Explore ~~the city~~ Temba!

Here's a map of Temba and a bit more description of some of the buildings here.

Despite having been protected from being destroyed by the volcano itself and unlike Sh'Ka not having been buried in vast amopunts of ash, Temba still suffered notable damage from the earthquakes that came with the volcano's eruption. Previously restored buildings were damaged and others entirely caved in on themselves leaving them beyond any hope for restoration. The streets and paths are even worse to traverse than they used to be but for what it's worth water and electricity are still working. Most of the time.

Needless to say, exploring is more risky these days as buildings may still cave in without warning and seemingly solid roads may crack open to drop anunsuspecting wanderer into underground caves left behind by the quakes.

And yet the city can still be explored. If you are lucky, you might even stumble over The Deep End, the bar located on one of the mid-levels of the tower residences in one of the residence towers. Unfortunately no bright neon signs can lead you there, but it does exist.

Now what's happening with the hangar?!

A while ago, the ships vanished from the hangar and as of now no one can say why exactly that happened. Now your character may snotice that the map still indicates a hangar, but going there has them walk straight into- A force field? And a massive one at that. It's notably larger than the hangar building used to be and by no means translucent. Instead, your character will see a reflection of the city around. Or much rather the rubble and empty area around the location. What's going on here? Do you investigate the strange case of the missing space ships and now also missing hangar?

Try the network!

The network is back up! Upon arrival, your character will have on their person a small, handheld communications device. Maybe they know exactly how to use a computer, smartphone, or tablet, and immediately blast out a text or video trying to figure out what's going on. Or maybe they're not so tech-savvy after all, and everyone is about to get a lovely shot right up your character's left nostril.

There be storms...

These power-altering storms keep ravaging parts of the planet every once in a while. No one truly knows where they come from or what to do about them yet, but one of them appears to be approaching. You have the option to find shelter in one of the buildings to wait for it to pass. Unless, of course, you rather feel drawn to investigate.

Should you step inside the storm, or even get lost in it, it will show ghosts of people you know and those you don't. It drains you of any super-human abilities and tries its best to keep you from getting to its origin. Are you going to try anyways? Or are you going to chase the whispers of people from your past? Maybe you will simply find yourself calling for help or stumble across another lost soul in need of assistance.

More information can be found here.

Wildcard!

You're welcome to use any previous test drive scenarios or previous game events as a basis for a thread/situation, or simply make up your own! Keep in mind that you're currently stranded on a planet with only basic necessities, but there is enough food and fresh water. Creature comforts, however, seem to be distinctly lacking. Quite unlike a gathering of potentially dangerous creatures to encounter. The setting is yours to explore and have fun with!

✧ Premise ✧ FAQ ✧ Rules ✧ Test Drive ✧ Taken ✧ Reserves ✧ Application ✧
✧ Map ✧ Devices & Network ✧ Data Points ✧ Ships ✧ Flora ✧ Fauna ✧ Supply Requests ✧ Calendar ✧
✧ Activity Check ✧ Player Plot Suggestion ✧ Player Contacts ✧ Player Permission Code ✧ Hiatus ✧ Drop ✧
✧ Navigation ✧

code bases by tricklet

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Billy scowls hard at her accusation - what the fuck is she talking about? But then it hits him that she’s here, so with a hard grip, the blond starts them in a direction. It’s difficult, being outside of the city, but when the terrain changes from grass and plants into purple sand, Billy knows the way.

He Leads them past some caves and right to a ramshackle cabin. It looks like the blond‘s been trying to fix it up, and when he leads her in and snaps the door shut, it blocks out the weather.

"…So you’re real. Not an energy storm manifestation." He puts some space between them, hands shaking as he unclips the tape player and sets it on his bed. It looks barren, with the exception of a pile of strange shells on the hearth of a sturdy fireplace. The rain wet his shirt enough to make the fabric translucent - there’s bandages wrapped around his shoulder. "Haven't seen you since May I think it is. This place is weird. Filled with freaks," though that word doesn’t sound like an insult - just an observation. Promised you I was gonna try and be better and then you disappeared."

She does grimace at the hold, but doesn't complain. If he wasn't griping so hard she might question again if he's just a ghost, like he was earlier. Like she's seen more than once in this storm. Like before coming here. But also, with how hard the wind is blowing, it keeps them together.

Max follows in silence once they're out, still committing the place to memory, making sure she knows her way around. Her soaked form starts to shudder and she pulls her jacket around her.

Instead of giving him a proper answer, she sasses back, "As real as you are." She's also aware how much their situations mirror each other, that ends up being more honest of an answer than she intends. She knows about the shoulder injury from Tommy, but only that Billy has it, not exactly what happened. Her eyes settle on it and she frowns. After what happened to him, she realizes she doesn't want him injured, ever again.

First, she has to point out, deadpan, "Some of those freaks are my friends." She actually gives Billy a playful grin before she adds, "But they're still freaks."

Then she addresses the other Max, as her heart thuds in her chest. Promised her? Yeah, about that.

"That wasn't -" how is she supposed to say this? Eddie called her another Max - "me. At least, I don't remember that," she admits to him, hoping this doesn't confuse him. It's a baffling mess, she gets that. "So," Max's eyes flicker down, "you don't owe me that. Not after...."

She sighs, breathing in hard. "I haven't seen you in eight months." She scans her memory of the conversations she's had since arriving, pretty sure Billy was aware of this much, so she let's herself say it, "Since you died," only her voice cracks at the end and her eyes burn. Maybe she is not ready to have this conversation.

Max has to rub her eyes, then points to his shoulder and asks, "What happened?" when she feels more in control.

The grip was only hard to keep her from getting pulled away from him, off to wherever the storm wanted to take her. She disappeared on him once here, and this time he wasn't going to let his stepsister go so easily this time.

Billy's moving around the cabin, using a hair through the curls to shake out some of the water before going over to the fireplace. There's logs of messily cut wood and he tosses a couple of them into the firebox before using some flint and rock to spark and catch the dried timber. "Yeah? Well some of the freaks here aren't from Hawkins. Powers and stuff. 'Cept Shepherd. He's not a freak and if I hear you call him that, I'll beat your ass."

That sounds like Billy.

Soon the cabin is filled with warmth as the flames take to the lumber and starts crackling in the hearth.

His back is to her as she speaks, so Billy doesn't see any sort of emotion on her face. That voice crack though, he hears that. "I know I die as soon as the aliens here send me the fuck home. Others told me, too. And that things get worse in that shithole of a town." Billy always had a resentment for Hawkins. Who wouldn't, compared to San Diego?

When the blond finally looks at her, it's over the injured shoulder and he looks back to the fire.

"That stupid other world shit. Gates opened everywhere and I..." The words get caught in his throat and he has to swallow hard. "Tae called it like... PTSD or some bullshit. Froze up in an alley. But I got my shit together and went out to fight some of them with Tommy. Then he left to go do superhero things. I killed one monster that jumped at me. Right in its flower face, but it's claws still raked my shoulder."

Finally he just sits, like he's tired. And Billy is. There's been a lot to get through here, though he has a better support system than he was allowed back home. "I've been here about six or so. Time is different here." Billy watches her instead of the fire now. "What about you? Neil better not have laid a hand on you or Susan, or I'll haunt the fuck out of him." He'd be his dad's personal poltergeist.

The fire, the warmth spreading through, helps, but Max isn't going to vocalize that, not when Billy makes a threat, and she sees red for a second. Maybe her spitfire reaction speaks more to her situation than she would like, but she still keeps herself under control enough to be assertive when she steps forward and tries to stand taller and get in his face. It's part her situation, and part the fact she tried to open up to him and talk to him like she would her friends instead of the person that made her feel she had to live with her shields up on permanent, and that's how Billy repays her? With threats.

"You won't," she says full of anger. "You lay a hand on me and I will walk right out of here." She's been through too much - is going home to face too much - to allow that, even if Billy is just threatening. If he had explained the situation to her, instead, she might have handled that better.

Max's shoulders slump to everything else.

"You're lucky that's all that happened, then." She still doesn't like it. That he froze up, that he was hurt. That the monsters showed up here. The monsters. Part of her goes numb and she barely hears what Billy says next. There's no way Vecna can find them here, can he?

She shakes her head to refocus, then just stares at Billy for a second when his question registers with her.

"Doesn't matter. He's gone," Max tells him, and her eyes don't quite meet his when she does. It's not a lie, just a complete omission. She doesn't want to have this conversation, and - "Don't waste your time haunting that asshole. There's probably better things you could do." Or they can make the most of the time they have now? Assuming they don't both blow it up into ashes.

The threat isn't like it's usual one. He's telling her to not call a specific person a name. He doesn't realize how much she's grown until she's up in his face. Up this close Billy looks far more tired than he ever did, almost haunted. "Didn't you fucking listen? I said 'if I hear you call Shepherd a freak, then I'll beat your ass'. So don't call him fucking names and you're good. I don't have a lot of friends and he's been looking out for me."

Trying to help me be better.

Billy looks angry, ready to fight her like they always do, but he doesn't. He knows better. "I saw the one from the mall," the blond tells her quietly. Because she'll understand. "It was on the other side of the gate, but I saw it. Thought I was going to get dragged to it."

Because she didn't know what happened. No one really knew what happened to Billy Hagrove to get him possessed.

He wonders what she means by 'he's gone'. Dead? Left them? "Don't care. If he hurt you or Susan, I'm haunting him no matter where he goes. No one gets to bully my stepfamily. That's my job," though there's no bite or heat in his words. It sounds almost teasing.

Max notices the difference, but she's not letting up on this, either. Her 159cm frame isn't quite managing to get right in his face, but she's doing her best. She notices he's tired, she's tired, too. She sees it. She recognizes that haunted look - she sees it in the mirror sometimes. But right then, Max doesn't care, she's not going to tolerate the threats.

"And I said, you hit me, I'm gone. That's it. It doesn't matter the reason, or what I did, I'm just gone," Max says each word carefully, but still full of anger.

She tries to deescalate with, "What you can do is tell me why Tommy's so special. And use words to explain why we don't call Tommy names." Other than, of course, Tommy being the one to save Billy. That matters a whole lot, as far as she's concerned. She's not going to admit it just yet, but so far, she's good with Tommy Shepherd.

That was something Max never got to ask about. They weren't exactly on speaking terms, then Billy was possessed, then he was...gone. He mentions the Mindflayer, and again, her body goes rigid. That night flashes in her mind and she knows - whatever Vecna told her, whatever darkness Vecna found in her, that didn't change the fact that that night destroyed her, too.

"But you didn't. Not this time. Right?" She looks away, not wanting him to see how that affects her, but her arms are wrapped around herself.

She's never, not once, thought Billy was necessarily dumb. Stupid in the way boys can be, sure, but he always knew when she was hiding something, or lying. However, there's some gratitude that he can't seem to read between the lines. If she starts, she's not sure how much of it she'll pour out. She doesn't want to start. Max doesn't fall into the teasing, though, she's either too closed off again after being disappointed when she tried to let him in, or the conversation just hits too hard for her to feel anything else at the moment.

"He's not worth it," she insists. "If you're going to waste your afterlife haunting someone," Max turns back to Billy to look him right in the eyes, "haunt me." At least then she knows he'll hear her.

That look has been worse since the gates opened, and continuing even after they closed. Tae gave him medication to sleep, but Billy is stubborn and lets himself run through the nightmares each night I stead of letting her be right about him. Pieces of Billy that are still there even in the wake of everything. The older teen moves past her to go sit on the bed. From under the pillow he pulls out a lollipop to toss to her, and another for himself. Both are cherry.

"Not gonna hit you," he finally remarks. Because she’s the only one that bit back with his threats and he knows Max will keep her word on it. "Been trying to be better about that shit."

A hand ruffles through the wet curls. Billy’s not looking at her. Almost like he’s ashamed. Isn’t he supposed to be happy to see her? Proud to show that he’s been working on being better? But he’s not, because Billy knows he hasn’t made much progress. Even with a friend/sponsor and Robin. And a mentor.

"He’s the first one to give me a chance," the blond says quietly. "To say I can be better when I told him I was gonna try. Told him I was gonna try when you were here last. I keep fucking up though. We talk a little. Over at the diner or here on the beach. We had… a situation a month or so ago."

Time was weird and he can’t keep the dates straight sometimes. "We evacuated underground for a month from a volcano. I tried to take a shower and it…it was cold. Too cold. I started thinking I was—"

Billy doesn’t want to say it. Not to Max. Even if she obviously knew.

"He helped me through it. Got me warm water to clean up with instead."

The talk of cold showers and toeing bad memories helps drop the worse memory of Neil or haunting Max.

Just another thing Max might have to push Billy into, not that she's one to talk, but no one can continue on like that. The lack of sleep messes with mood, ability to think clearly, and therefore makes a person the perfect bait for someone like Vecna. And Vecna is hardly the only danger, either. It's not healthy, it's not good. He looks like Hell, but she's not going to say that, yet. She wants to, but she doesn't want to say it at the wrong time and end up in a fight. She's, also, trying.

As soon as Max's hand clasps the lollipop, and Billy says what she has confidence he would say all along, her body releases tension she didn't know was there.

"See? I'm not going to call Tommy names because," she looks up for a second, "he's cool. And he helped you. And because you explained." She licks the lollipop, then removes it from her mouth to point in Billy's direction, "Not because you threatened me. Next time, just do that. Ask. Explain. You can do that instead of threaten, and it will get a lot further."

She follows to the bed and sits with some space between them, but she's within reach. A sign of trust.

"Besides, you want to bully me into things, or want to realize, hey, maybe I'll do something for you just because you're," she pauses on 'my brother' and manages to say, "Billy, not because you're making me?"

He thinks he hasn't made any progress, and Max thinks the exact opposite. It feels like he's actually opening up to her, letting her in. She feels a tinge of shame after that, because here she is refusing - not ready - to do the same. Right, meeting him half-way. It only works if they're both better.

Billy talks about the shower - it likes it cold - and she stops with the lollipop to look at him with wide eyes, "You thought you were possessed again?"

HEY! He’s the best looking piece of hell there is and don’t you forget it, Max.

The lollipop gets worked on in his mouth while his stepsister talks and joins him in sitting. "Threats used to get me what I wanted." Used to. Not anymore. People didn’t take that shit here because there wasn’t any room for that bullying bullshit. "Tommy doesn’t like the word. It’s really just offensive where he’s from for him." He thinks of the time he said it with vitriol before he could stop it and how Tommy walked away from him. Billy learned not to say it after watching the only guy giving him a chance walk away.

Another run of his hand through the curls.

"It’s a work in progress okay? I’m trying to fix my shit and it’s not happening overnight. It won’t. I can barely keep the truce I’ve got with Harrington and Eddie. But I’m fucking trying and it’s hard!" His voice was raising towards a yell at the end. Not because Billy is mad, but because he’s frustrated. It’s tough to change when you’re figuring out how to socialize again as a different person.

He takes a breath. "The memories of it, yeah. Like riding shotgun in my own head. I can’t… I can’t take cold showers anymore, or hot ones. There’s hot springs nearby and I can’t go to them."

And Max is the only one from home here who knows why.

She's not going to acknowledge that one.

"Like I said, I'm not going to call Tommy that. He's Tommy." She shrugs.

Billy raises his voice, and Max raises hers in return, regardless of the reasoning.

"Hey! I get it. I know it's going to take time. That's why I'm trying to help and telling you what you can say instead, next time." That is, as long as he didn't want her walking out the door. "What truce?" she asks, because if she doesn't know about it, she can't help him with it.

Max bites the inside of her cheek.

"Because of the sauna?" That had been such a fiasco. Just saying it brings back flashes of Billy pleading with her to believe him, then smashing through the window and everything that followed. "We were trying to help. It just...went wrong." Really wrong.

Well then if she's just going to call Tommy that and not something mean like 'freak', then she's better than Billy was. Not that there's a high bar set or anything.

The look he gives her is sharp and something more familiar from Billy, but he doesn't act on the anger or frustration that's sparking through his skin like an itch. This was his sister, who knew he was dead. Did she mourn him? Did her mom or Neil even mourn him?

Her yelling at him doesn't startle him. Billy soaks in the familiarity of it as she yells back that she's trying to help.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Keep his temper in check and he won't be in the cabin by himself watching Max walk out.

"Eddie, Harrington, and me. We had a truce to not fight. Or, try not to. I broke it during the volcano situation. They were... treating me like I was stupid and I broke and punched Harrington. Robin made a new truce with no fighting, and any bad situations we should bring to her so they could be judged fairly or some shirt." One hand goes to his arm, fingers scratching idly against the skin. The same spot where he knew he had been burned by the sun while possessed.

"Yeah. I woke up while I was in there and I was... I didn't know what was going on but I saw you and I broke." He was scared but he didn't want to admit it. Scared and so isolated and only Max with her friend had noticed something wrong with him. And that alone hurt more than anything because something was wrong but it looked normal from Billy to everyone else. "Then I went to sleep again before your friend pulled him out of my head."

And then he fought back, evident with the hidden scarring under his shirt, and the light, silvery ones on his wrists and hands.

And then he died.

Fuck.

"You and your friend... you two were the only ones to help."

Originally, she wouldn't have thought freak was a big deal, but now that Billy's explained it, it's just that easy.

The energy in the atmosphere is tense, and Max's body stiffens as she picks up Billy's body language, but in the end, nothing happens, and she plops the lollipop back in her mouth. He stayed under control, and she is not going anywhere.

Mourning in relation to Max's reactions is an understatement, and if Billy wants to know, he just needs to ask. She might not tell him everything, though. The guilt, the suicidal ideation, the fact it attracted an interdimensional ritualistic serial killer? Probably not. Not yet, at least. Processing just all of this is a lot for them both.

Max sighs - dumb boys - poor Robin sounds like she has her hands full.

"How were they treating you like you're stupid?" Max notes the last name for Steve, but not the other two.

"The others were trying. Just differently," Max points out. "And I know you. They didn't."

She closes her eyes. "My friend, her name is El. Or Jane." Her tone sounds almost soft, at least softer then he's probably ever heard from her.

"No one even told you that? Her name. Who she is? How she helped you?"

Max doesn't leave and some of the tension in Billy's frame leaks out. He's still a little tense - he knows how he treated her back in Hawkins and San Diego. He was a horrid stepbrother, and the first year in Hawkins didn't change that. Then the summer changed everything. Chrissy and others said that shit wasn't his fault.

It felt like his fault. The amount of blood his hands spilled was one of the things that kept him up at night.

"They were trying to hide their relationship from me. Like I was stupid and wasn't going to see them doing it in front of me. And with the stress of everything, trying to evacuate underground for a volcano, worrying if I had anything I needed, I finally... just... snapped. I punched Harrington."

He doesn't add that Eddie got him back and that's what triggered the karma for Billy in breaking Max's Walkman.

"Your friends were. No one I knew even noticed." Hagan, Carol, no one. And yes - he is including Harrington of all people in that. Mostly because he thinks the guy is holding a grudge for all the things he did while possessed. And a little for the fight in the Byers house.

This time, the hand runs over his face. "Maybe? They might've mentioned it. I know how she helped me. She saw my memories, found me in them." Billy swallows hard, remembering how El said his mother was pretty. A woman Max had never met, and probably never seen pictures of. As far as the blond knew, he was the only one that had a picture of her after Neil removed her from all the photos in the house. "I don't know how she did it, but she got me out. El woke me up."

Billy had been awful to her, but Max reacted in kind. Regardless, that summer had opened a whole other level of fucked up. And no, none of it was his fault. If anyone could understand that flavor of guilt, it is Max, even if not on the same level. Never mind she still thinks herself responsible.

Then he brings up relationship and Max stops entirely. Her mind runs that through, registers - show up late on one alien planet adventure and miss a lot, apparently.

"You sure they were hiding it from you, or everyone? You don't start sleeping with someone of the same sex and just go," she grins sarcastically and opens her arms, "'Hey, everyone! We're together. Persecute us now!'"

She frowns when he mentions he snapped. "If they were both keeping it from you, why did you punch Steve?" Look, Steve isn't on her shitlist, yet. And he's done a lot for her, so still Steve. And she is starting to suspect there's a reason Billy cared so much they were together in the first place.

"Sounds like you had shitty friends. You need better ones. Tommy's a good start," she's actually matter-of-fact when she says that.

She feels a little better thinking maybe Billy just didn't remember El's name. The idea the others hadn't even mentioned that was odd. He has her name now, though.

"El can do a lot of stuff with her mind. She went into yours, when we were trying to find you. Trying to figure out what was going on. That's how she knew about your memories. She's been in my mind, too."

Yeah she did. Billy won’t forget her with the bat and the syringe in the Byers house any time soon. At least she’s not armed right now. Billy would probably be far nicer if she was. Maybe nicer because of fear of both what she could do and of the other Hawkins people.

"I told you, shitbird. Because I felt like they were hiding it from me because I wouldn’t catch on because I was stupid." Billy doesn’t realize that he’s outed Eddie and Harrington, but they were overly saccharine about it that surely they were like that together in front of everyone else. "But people don’t seem to care about them being together like people do at home. It’s different here."

If you’re nice and sociable anyways.

"What happened with you after the mall incident anyways?" An abrupt change in conversation but Billy realizes he doesn’t know her point of view about it. He had heard some stuff from Robin and a bit more from Chrissy.

But he doesn’t know what happens with his stepsister.

Billy isn’t sure he wants to know, but feels like he should know.

Maybe she doesn't want him nice just because she's armed, though. In the end, that's not real progress. This, though, this raw conversation they're finally having? That could be. To Max, the point of this is getting to know Billy, not only seeing the asshole she used to know.

Max rolls her eyes up high and grunts out her frustration.

"Punching people because they think you're stupid, or hiding things from you? Isn't being better. You get that right? You want to be better? You have to handle that differently." For a start. "For someone who hates lying and people hiding things from you so much, you're not being entirely honest, are you?" Why bother tip-toeing around that one? She's going to call it as she sees it. There's something he's avoiding saying, and she has no idea what, but he is. She practically feels it in the conversation, the avoidance.

"And even if people here don't seem to care, there's this thing called habit. People might still feel they need to keep it quiet. Still feel uncomfortable about it."

Then Billy turns it all around and Max loses her tone. Her eyes go wide, much like a deer caught in headlights. Max starts to shake again, but this time it's not the cold. Her leg fidgets as she tries not to mentally flee. This is where she would typically shut down or deflect, but that didn't help back home and she doesn't think it's going to help now. Maybe it would give her longer to think things through, but would it help forming some sort of sibling bond with Billy? Doubtful.

Ultimately, she would agree, he deserves to know and be armed. She's already considered it - if gates opened up and creatures from the Upside-Down showed up there, there's nothing that says Vecna can't find her here. If he did? Billy is exactly the kind of victim Vecna looks for. Already did, in fact. Already used Billy once with the Mindflayer as proxy. He would be vulnerable without knowledge. She grips her walkman through her jacket.

That means telling him about her, though. And the fact she would be vulnerable like a beacon if that happened, too. She opens her mouth and can't form words for a bit longer.

"You mean," her voice breaks, "when I was crying over your dead body," there's hardness there, daring him to judge her for this as tears fill her eyes, "or when the paramedics had to drag me and El away from you to check on us and you? Or," she stops as all of it tumbles in her mind, her breathing shows, chest visibly expanding as she tries to stay in control - the empty months, his father losing his temper, the fights, the numbness, the guilt, the anger, pushing everyone away, running for her life, setting herself up as bait, VECNA - and all she can say as she looks back up is, "what do you mean?"

Sure, put that on Billy to define. That's totally fair.

The whole time of the conversation, Billy‘s been doing his best to be open. He has to be if he’s going to heal bad tempers and sibling rifts. But when Max presses about the honesty, his eyes darken as he immediately closes off. Billy doesn’t want to tell her, about the incident from before Susan‘s marriage to his dad.

So he says nothing, a scowl deepening on his face that speaks more volumes than his silence does.

So he waits for her to tell him what happened in the aftermath of the mall, only to be met with anger and hardness and what felt like accusations flung at him. Billy’s back on his feet, grabbing his version of her tape player before he starts pacing. "Look, I know everything at the mall was my fucking fault! Everyone that died for that stupid fucking thing was me! And now you want to add more to that, Max?! What the fuck?! I just wanted to fucking know what happened after everything and for someone demanding honesty from me, you sure are great keeping your own to yourself, aren’t you?!" Of course, Billy's riled up now, pacing with the player in hand. It’s tempting to throw the headphones on and stomp out, but Billy doesn’t. He just paces like a caged animal while yelling.

Max can feel when he closes off. The silence infuriates her further. When Billy takes her words of pained memories as accusations, it just makes it worse. She's ready to spit fire at him all over again, until Billy shares his guilt.

Everything in Max comes to a screeching halt. Fuck.

She tries to get right in front of his pacing path, so she can catch his eyes, make this as clear and simple as possible.

"Hey, Billy. Nothing that happened at the mall, was your fault." She's firm in her words, but her tone has softened down to that level of, 'Here are the facts,' with a tinge of worry and mild confusion. She can't imagine the others didn't try to explain, this is likely just another case of special Hargrove-Mayfield sibling brand stubbornness.

"The only thing you did, in the mall, was save El." This is the part that matters the most, Max breathes out, first, then says every word carefully and pointedly, "You are a hero."

Her eyes are still glassy and she can't be anymore serious about this.

Billy almost sidesteps her to keep up the pacing. It’s clear this is a normal "route" as this section of the room is clear of anything to trip over. Many evenings before bed spent pacing to try and wear his body and mind down enough to sleep.

Well, he’d sleep better if he took the medication that Tae gave him. The bottle sits on the mantle of the fireplace, ignored.

And Billy doesn’t move around her. Instead, he stops and meets her glassy gaze with his own dark one.

"Max," said with a hard tone that indicates stubbornness ahead. "I killed so many damn people after that night at Steelworks. I kidnapped Heather. I killed her and her parents. That stupid lady with her damn plants or whatever the hell it was." Billy’s voice is rising again. It’s so easy to slip into bad habits, including grabbing her shoulders in a hard grip. Not hitting though, just keeping her right there while they talk.

"I’m not a fucking hero, let’s get that shit clear right now. Doing one good thing doesn’t fix all the other shit I’ve done! Doesn’t make me a hero! I’m a bully and I’m learning not to be one while I’m here! So don’t give me fucking titles that I never earned. You got that, shitbird?"

It's steel against steel as Billy recounts the murders he was forced to do, and Max clenches her jaw, tightly. Her hands ball up into fists and she doesn't falter.

"You're right. You're a bully. And an abusive asshole!" her own voice rises, agitated all over again with the rising of his voice.

"And a shitty brother! I'm not delusional about you." Which means when she said that, she knew what she was talking about, but of course, he's not listening. That's not unusual, at least.

Max manages to calm down when she continues with, "You are trying, and learning. And yeah. Your hands killed those people. You will likely be left with those memories forever." She closes her eyes and realizes she can only suspect the weight of that guilt, how crushing it is. That kind of scar, she can't help with.

Her eyes open again. "But it wasn't you. You didn't do any of it willingly. You were forced to. You were being controlled." Breathe in. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. She feels she's just adding to the trauma, and she doesn't want to, but it's the truth. Billy had wanted the truth, right?

"Didn't anyone tell you about Vecna?" Once that name leaves her mouth, Max knows, there's no turning back.

It's like two brethren fighting to try and get the other to see how they're wrong in their views. The wind and rain howls outside the cabin. Billy doesn't let go of Max's shoulder, tempted to shake her. He does, just a little. A little. "Shut up! I know I am! You think I don't know any of that?"

Now his own eyes are glossy because finally someone called him that to his face. He's been here for a few months and felt like the other Hawkins teens tip-toed around him. Billy knew why. He knew exactly why.

Because he was an asshole, a bully, and a shitty brother and trying to say he wasn't was lying to himself. But Max was right, that he was learning and trying to be better. She could see that, too, in just how he was acting here. The words from both of them linger in the air like a dense, invisible fog, until she keeps talking. Asks about Vecna.

"...The other you, the one that was here when I showed up... she mentioned it. The others mentioned something about a Vecna song. I thought it was some bullshit thing for Eddie's discords and delusions thing." So he's heard of it, but didn't know what it actually was.

It's only a little shaking. Billy doesn't hit her, so Max will let it slide. It's an improvement on a lot of things. She closes her eyes tight while Billy yells back and shakes her, then comes back just as angry.

"Don't tell me to shut up! I'm not telling you because I think you don't know. I'm telling you I know!" She stabs at her chest, then aims right for his.

"I know who you are, Billy Hargrove. So when I say you were a hero when you saved El, I'm not making shit up, exaggerating or saying it to make you feel better. I'm not ignoring everything you've ever done, either. I'm saying it because I think you are! And you don't get to tell me how I feel about that!"

The information on how little Billy knows about Vecna, though, is sobering. Even the other her.... Fuck.

"Vecna's a person," she shrugs, "or was Henry Creel. Vecna's just faster to say, and he's way more monster than person now."

Max bites the inside of her mouth. "I'll tell you about him. But I need you to hear me out about this, okay? I need you to take me seriously."

Neither of them are coming to blows. The steps are small, but noticeable by someone like Max, who knew how bad he could get. The moment she yells back and stabs her finger to his chest, Billy gives her a little shove. Only enough to put some space between them, not enough to hopefully knock her down or into the wall. He's lived for so long with a man that tore him down at any given moment that positivity about himself gets pushed back on.

"If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have been in danger in the first place!"

But if not Billy, it would've possessed someone else. Harrington? Robin? That Wheeler chick? It could've been any of them. Billy just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time.

The blond paces a little again, chewing on the stick of his lollipop. He wants to run. Wants to breakdown and lash out. He wants to get his hands on a dresser and destroy it with his bare hands. Wants to leave Max in this shabby little cabin with all of her little positive words like a some kind of daily affirmation calendar and her sharp words of her telling him not to tell her how to feel.

That'd be something Neil would do.

More pacing.

"So it's from that Upside Down shit? Why the hell would I not take you seriously after everything I've seen and lived through, Max? Seriously, don't be fucking stupid."

Max still has no idea how bad things got with Neil, but what she does know is she didn't give Billy compliments, and she's never seen him take one, beyond being flirted with. She can figure enough out to understand it's not easy for him to hear it. Fighting, yelling, insulting each other - all of that he can handle, but not the one compliment.

It's the reason she doesn't walk right out when he shoves her. It's not too hard, and she doesn't fall back or hit anything, but she glares at him for it. There's an annoyance to feeling that small. Even so, she knows Billy is showing improvement, so she sucks some of it in. She digs her heels in, tightens her fists and stands her ground.

None of that stops her from yelling again.

"Guess what, Billy! That's not true. Vecna was targeting El, so he would have gotten her one way or another. If it hadn't been you, it would have been someone else getting controlled. It would have happened no matter what. And maybe because it was you she lived!"

If he had left, Max would have just left as well, returned to the hotel, and who knows when they would have run into each other again. They both stay, they might salvage something in the end. Maybe. She just has to keep tolerating a little bit of his crap if he just tolerates hers.

Her voice returns to normal, the goes hollow as she speaks, "Yeah. It is. Billy, this isn't easy to talk about. Can we just...stop with the yelling for this?"

Billy only got compliments on things that mattered to him on the surface level - the way he looked and how he did sports. His car. Superficial things that didn't matter in the long run or something like that.

With the space between them again, Billy seems to calm a little again.

And Max voices his very own thoughts about how if it wasn't him, it'd be someone else. And he wants to run or flinch or kick her out or something or anything. It feels like a lot, and there is, but unlike his conversation with Robin, Billy doesn't want to back down this time. He may be a worthless loser, but he wasn't going to run from this.

The pacing slows and he finally leans against one of the other walls. Space between them again, but Billy isn't tightly closed off like he had made himself a few minutes ago.

"Fine. I can't help it sometimes," comes the soft answer. Billy almost sounds defeated, but he's just tired. He's fought so much for so long, and he was just tired. Being in Temba was supposed to be a break from that until he goes home to die.

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cw: traumatic response, still being vague about Neil but yeah

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