HONESTY MEME

[cactusy]

1) Post your characters, one per comment
2) Go around with your characters and have them ask other characters questions-- anything goes!
3) Forced honesty time! Lying is impossible because of reasons
4) ICly discuss the confessions and revelations

Comments

[cactusy]

It was always a risk. It was what we signed up for.

[A fact she believes on technicality, even if it doesn't actually make any of it any easier.]

Only two are dead for sure. The other two-- if they're alive and they haven't gotten in touch, it means they don't want to be found. I can respect that.

All I can do is find a new job.

[in_extremis]

Maybe they also got abducted by aliens. Can't rule out the possibility now.

[cactusy]

I don't even wanna know what Finch would do with the information that aliens are a thing.

[in_extremis]

You took it pretty well. Are aliens not a thing? It's just empty for lightyears over there?

[cactusy]

Nobody knows for sure. We've never had contact or proof or anything like that, but a totally empty universe seems pretty unlikely.

I never spent time thinking about it either way; never saw the point. But I'm not too surprised. Straight-up magic being a thing is a way bigger pill to swallow.

[in_extremis]

Honestly, I'm thinking about it, and I'd be willing to make the sacrifice of outer-species contact for a world without magic. I can always manage the space travel myself.

[cactusy]

Bad experiences?

[in_extremis]

Every experience with magic is bad. I'm a scientist, an engineer, and while the world is vast and complex in ways I might never be able to master, there's rules to it, systems. Magic is the opposite of that. It's horrible.

[cactusy]

This place must seriously suck for you, then. My issues are with signs that this might all be fake; as long as I can buy magic being real, I'm set.

[in_extremis]

What kind of fake?

[cactusy]

Virtual reality psychological torture. It's kind of a long story.

[in_extremis]

It might actually be a pretty short walk if you ever want to talk about it. A good friend of mine trapped me in my dreams and made me doubt anything was real, sometimes I still have to check in when I wake up, count my toes, measure the shadows. I don't know if you ever get over that.

[cactusy]

Ever wish you were still in, and the life you're living now was something you could wake up from?

[in_extremis]

You know what, you were right the first time, that sounds like a few volumes' worth of a psych evaluation. I mean, no, I don't want to be here, but I don't want to find out I haven't been in control this whole time, either. You'd give that up?

[cactusy]

I never said I wanted to. It's complicated. But-- yeah, there've been times when I'd have given that up, if it meant that some of the stuff that's happened over the past few months was just another simulation. It'd mean waking up strapped to a bed again, but it'd also mean a chance at a do-over.

But we did end up saving the world, so. Even if the road to it really sucked, maybe that's the thing I wouldn't give up.

[in_extremis]

I understand the impulse, intellectually. In reality, the idea of starting over again, of going back, that's--it feels like a death. Up and forward, look back as little as you have to. Learn from your mistakes. Don't let the sacrifices be a waste.

[cactusy]

It feels like a death, but I've fake-died thousands of times. My perspective is atypical.

[in_extremis]

Is that what they're teaching you in the army these days?

[cactusy]

Yeah, no, not a military thing. Try "kidnapped by an evil tech company and force-fed virtual reality experiences".

[in_extremis]

Where they kept killing you?

I went through something like that, here. Over and over, one right after the other. And I'm already on the edge, I think about dying all the time, so something about not being allowed to, getting that far and not being allowed, that was one of the worst feelings I've ever had.

cw: suicide mention

[cactusy]

I shot myself, usually. That always restarted things.

Who did it to you here? Not the Agrii, right?

[in_extremis]

Not exactly. It's this thing they do, where they put you into each other's heads. Felwinter, his companion, they call it a Ghost, she brings him back when he dies. She just keeps doing it.

You wanted to restart, even then?

[cactusy]

You know, if they can put us in each other's heads, that doesn't bode so well for the reality of this place. Just saying.

And yeah, I wanted to restart. The point of them was always to get information out of me, and to force me to do things that I would rather die than do. Putting a gun to my own head always became-- a win-win, at a certain point.